[Story] System Change

Title: System Change
Author: SunriseCV
Genre(s): Action, Adventure, Comedy
Tags: Fantasy, GameLit, Magic, Portal Fantasy, Isekai, Post Apocalyptic
Audience:(contains Gore, Profanity, Traumatizing content)
Main Lead: Male
Status: Ongoing
VB Assessment Score: PDE 2 CDD 2 SWB 2 || TQ 3 SV 2 || Overall: 11
Number of Chapters: 23
Chapter Length: Medium
Reading Level: Medium
Date of First Release: August 26, 2020
Date of Last Update: November 10, 2020
VB Reviewed? No
Available on Platform(s): Royal Road
Number of Views: 183K
Number of Reviews: 14
Synopsis:
Years ago, Earth was indoctrinated into the “System.”
Earth was not the only place with the System, however. With the System came the other races, Invaders. The Invaders had one goal, to obtain ownership of this new habitable planet. This created a bloodbath, and for years the war raged.
This didn’t really have much to do with Derek. Derek was kind of a loner. Yeah, he enjoyed the occasional chat or drink with others, but he never stayed in one place too long or really got to know anybody new.
Derek did happen to be rather strong. After the years of fighting monster and Invaders alone, he had become quite adept at surviving. One thing that helped keep him alive was his refusal to get involved with others. He rarely cooperated with teams.
One day, Derek broke his rules and decided to lend some help, as the mission didn’t seem too hard. He should have stuck to being alone.

Review(s)

MintyMintyMilkTea: Enjoyable read so far. True to its name, System Change involves the MC changing from one game-like system to another system. So far it’s well-written and well thought out. The first chapter starts with a post-apocalyptic game system vibe, but then we switch into an isekai feeling story with villages and nobles.
I’m interested to see where this story will go. No major style or grammar issues so far. A few paragraphs could be split up more in my opinion but in general, everything is formatted well.  
It looks like the author has put a lot of thought into the leveling and exp system which is fun to see. The wall of stats and titles in the first chapter was a little intimidating, and honestly I didn’t read them at first. But the following chapters made me want to go back and read it. All the class descriptions and skill explanations have also been fun to read and think about.
I always have mixed feelings about OP characters, they can be fun to read at first but they can get boring quickly. It can be difficult to write compelling character growth and arcs if they’ve already reached the top. Of course, it can be done. I think this story has the potential to remain interesting with the new system to figure out and maybe stronger adversaries. 
The MC’s personality is fleshed out and his character stays consistent. I’m enjoying his carefree yet annoyed attitude. The secondary characters could use more depth.  So far the people we have met in the second system world are a little stereotypical, but I think this might change as the story goes on and we learn more. 
Great start. Looking forward to more!

UYScuti: The title of the story is a standalone one-liner you would pitch to an agent or publisher. You have a strong MC going into a new system. Which, I’m not sure I’ve read anywhere else. The story is in its foundational stage, but it’s building a solid base so far. You get a rough idea of what to expect of the world, and now it comes down to how the MC will throw it into chaos. I always find that fun to find out, and I’m sure the author will create waves.
Style score: The author delivers what’s important without creating sentence after sentence of useless information. So there isn’t a sense of bloat that bogs a lot of stories. The story is mostly third-person limited, but at times it is omniscient as well.
Grammar: This always comes down to readability for me. I’m not an expert on grammar. There are a lot of novels that I have a hard time finishing the first chapter. Not because they’re bad stories, but because I have a hard time figuring out what they’re trying to say. You won’t have that problem here. The chapters are pretty polished, so the author has spent time editing out errors.
Story: It’s a LitRPG, so you know there is going to be fighting and leveling. It comes down to what happens in between. This story has a different beginning, and the MC is thrust into a large, potentially kingdom destroying situation right away. There’s no time to grind away, so chapters of gaining +1 str haven’t appeared. I’d expect it will continue that way, which is far more interesting to me.
Character: We have two characters of not up to this point. The MC and a potential sidekick? I was not too fond of the MC in the first chapter. He gave off a lazy vibe that doesn’t drive the story, but that changes soon after. It’s like a kid that’s grown tired of the old toy, and now he’s found something new and exciting. The MC changed from “the world does stuff, and I’m in it” to “there is a world, and I’m going to do stuff to it” quickly. So that is a major plus in my mind. 
In the end, it comes down to, do you like LitRPG? If you answered yes, then you should read this. It’s fun to read and shows a lot of potential. I thoroughly recommend it.

Pauliuk: This story has a ton of potential and could be the next big thing on the website. Sadly, it’s still in its sapling stage so we can know for certain but the fact that this story was or still is in the top 300 of the Best Rated section should tell you how much this story is in demand. I myself have been looking for a great LitRPG story ever since I finished reading ELLC and I think this story could give the readers an enjoyable OP story that we haven’t seen before. I’m excited to learn more about the void, and what does it mean to be a champion of it.
Style:
This is a third-person story that follows the MC, Derek, and his sidekick, Thomas. The author is very meticulous about balancing his system in terms of exp growth and combining two systems into each other. I also give the story credit for using an uncommon element as the MC’s elemental type. A great amount of time and preparation is clearly shown within the story which makes it a fantastic read.
I will also say that I think the class system looks interesting and I love how portals work in this world as well. If this was to become a game or TTRPG, I think it would be an interesting system as well.
Grammar:
The grammar is easy to read and isn’t wordy. It does a good job of giving the required information to the reader. Hardly any grammar or spelling mistakes.
Story:
The story is pretty bland at this point and has no real plot. That being said, the story is still in its early stages and has a lot of time for the plot to develop. There is a goal that is hinted at which is to find out what is happening with the forest but there isn’t a huge sense of urgency to it.
Now things are happening. As the title of the story suggests, it’s about learning the new system so most chapters are about Derek understanding the new world he has found himself in and learning how to advance within it. So far, I’d say it’s more about developing the MC and after that is done I am hoping the plot will pick up.
Character:
As for the characters in this story, there are really only two. The first is the MC, Derek. He is an OP player from a different system who got accidentally sent to a new game world and is too strong thanks to his old stats not resetting to zero. He has a mature and cold attitude that you would expect of a person sucked into a game world where death is real and had survived into the later levels. In this new world, he starts at level zero with dormant abilities that he can reawaken and still gets to enjoy that amazing power spikes of early-game leveling.
Thomas is the other character. He is more of the new player type character. He knows all the rules but has never really played. He serves as Derek’s guide and is meant to show us just how great Derek is. He will probably become a student to the MC but only time will tell. 

edwardcastle: Overall:
This story does something I never saw done before: someone from a system-ruled Earth gets forced into another world, which has another system.
The MC is strong by the old system’s standards, but not the top dog of the world. Therefore, when he arrives at a small village in the new world, he is super strong by their standards.
Therefore, he is a somewhat OP MC, but not overly so.
Imagine Bill Gates, who is not the richest man in the world, arriving at a third-world small country city and you’ll get the picture. Only, instead of money, the MC has power.
Yet, this is not a face-slapping novel — at least not up until now, though it should have some scenes of it as soon as the MC meets some arrogant noble.
This is a novel of a lost MC trying to find his bearings in this new world with a different system, and maybe a way back home. A world that seems to have lower levels of energy, at least on the edges of the human nation where he’s at, and a system that is less generous than the old one (sometimes, outright punishing).
The MC was lost in the void for years and has adequately become a little bit crazy. Some social cues and rules are lost on him, and he is missing common sense here and there. Don’t worry, it’s nothing over the top, he just doesn’t do society well.
The supporting cast is okayish until now. The first person the MC finds gives the necessary perspective on things from this world’s side, and so do the next ones.
The first one, who becomes a companion, show signs of future growth arcs, and he is likable enough.
None of them mean anything in the grand scheme of things though, simply because the MC doesn’t know them. We’ll see how things develop.
The story is starting to stagnate without interesting novelty or conflicts. The most recent conflict as of this review is just a consequence of a skill the MC got, and there was never any tension to it. Still, I said “starting to.” The author still has some three to five chapters, give or take, to “fix” it before it becomes a real issue.
From what the author has shown up to this point, I think he’ll keep doing a good job.
All in all, 5 stars.
Style:
The novel flows well most of the time, but things get a bit overly prolix for my tastes sometimes. I end up just skipping big chunks of text.
I blame my impatience more than the author for it, but I still feel compelled to remove a half star.
So, 4.5 stars.
Grammar:
This is straightforward. There have been mistakes, but I can’t remember any right now, which makes this a…
5 stars.
Story:
I already covered it in the overall section, but the gist of it is:
A good idea with good execution.
If I had to complain about something other than the “potential stagnation” I talked about in the overall section, it would be the pacing. It starts well, but I feel that nothing interesting has happened for a while.
Even the weird skill feels more like something preventing the MC from moving forward rather than something mysterious. I mean, for the past six or seven chapters, he has just been dealing with a minor footnote in his chronicles, unimportant people in an unimportant location. Stop wasting time already!
I know, I know, world-building. I just want MOAR! =P And to be honest, it could be a bit better done.
So…
4.5 stars.
Character:
The main character is well built. His decision-making process makes sense, his personality is okay, his slight craziness is cool.
The lead support character is okay and smart for his age at times. Might become something interesting in the future.
The other characters to show until now weren’t card boxes. They had their issues, backstories, and personalities. The only reason I don’t care for them is that they are unimportant, but that even unimportant characters are so well fleshed out is a testament to the author’s skills.
5 stars.
Conclusion:
Read it already!

[omitted other reviews due to length and enough content shown above]

Story Post Last Updated: November 11, 2020

2 thoughts on “[Story] System Change

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