[Story] A World of Monsters

Title: A World of Monsters
Author: Ankur_93
Genre(s): Fantasy, Horror, Psychological
Tags: Tragedy, Grimdark, High Fantasy, LitRPG, Multiple Lead Characters, Non-Human lead, Reincarnation, Strategy, Villainous Lead (excluded non tag)
Audience: – (includes traumatizing content)
Main Lead: Female, Male
Status: Ongoing
VB Assessment Score: PDE 2 CDD 2 SWB 2 || TQ 3 SV 2 || Overall: 11
Number of Chapters: 57
Chapter Length: Medium
Reading Level: High
Date of First Release: September 4, 2020
Date of Last Update: December 7, 2020
VB Reviewed? No
Available on Platform(s): Royal Road
Number of Views: 70,744
Number of Reviews: 50
Synopsis:
For an unforgivable crime, the universe is sundered apart. From its splintered shards, a Sorceress is made to reborn. However, a human was unneeded thus what was once a human is now a monster- vermin and nothing more. With mere months for lifespan, the Sorceress fights to survive.
Meanwhile, Kiran leaves his home to defy mediocrity. Named after the hope he represents, he seeks a [Class] so austere that hundreds fail in their search. Yet, before this [Class] even the Gods bow their heads in respect.

Review(s)

ztaylor: I see a lot of stories here where our MC gets reincarnated as some big, badass monster or maybe a complete genius who can push past everything with ease. 
Not here, though. Our dude’s a caterpillar. 
This is a great starting point in showing the MC struggling to survive while trying to adjust and figure out his new life. The shifting perspectives give this world a lot of flavor and make it feel truly alive. The characters are easily my favorite part about all this. 
The author’s native language isn’t English, so I give him credit for how well this is written. Still, I found some typos that could be fixed with a grammar checker. 
Other than that, I’d highly suggest you all check this one out! 

Reigsta Di Raizel: It is a really intresting story for sure that I can tell you. To be reborn as a super weak bug that everyone consider as a thing that you don’t need to worry about. That weakness will the main protoganist use to his advantage to trick his enemy’s in it’s traps so it could kill them. It uses it’s brain and don’t go around to seek it’s dead in stupid ways. I really enjoy this story so try it if you want or not your choice to make. But to say that you could miss a amazing story is a shame so just try it and you see if you enjoy it or not . be sure to write a review if you want to let this story be seen from multiple views of readers but don’t say I forced you to read it you yourself choice to read it or not. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . .  .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . ..  . .

mattemo153: So overall the story is pretty damned amazing and for your style of writing is great too! The descriptions you do and the clear pictures you evoke is very very good. It gets etheral at tines and spooky or earthy in others. Its in the top ten i have ever read! Seiosly your story keeps me wanting to learn more and to keep coming back even though its 4 am here. The skill leveling and such is so cool! Your blending of india pratices with thier religion and reincarnation and castes and mana etc. is wonderful. It has lit a fire in me to research india and all these things in their culture now. So thank you for that.
Now for your grammer it has only a few simple mistakes and is easily ignored. Like for example you said ranches in one chapter and the next line or two you spelled branches with the b like you left off the first time. I of course knew what you meant so no big deal. I just know some people are pretty anal about that stuff.
now for your characters they actually feel like real flesh and blood beings and are very very good too. Anyways i feel privileged to have been able to have read this. Thank you

alcroix: We delve into a world of system-using monsters, cultivators, and deific beings through A World of Monsters, following two main characters (so far). The story is meticulously crafted, with every action precisely described — and yet herein lies the problem. The world is lifeless.
Teeming masses of characters are recorded in punctual detail. The prose railroads us with description after description, never allowing the reader to imagine fanciful imagery or catch glimpses of motives. Skills are acquired, described, and redescribed; ignoring the advantages of what’s left unsaid. Each paragraph reads as if a stream of conciousness was transcribed verbatim, ever quickly, ever steady. The rhythm of the text marches on, and on, and on. Monotony. 
The author attempts to circumvent this, of course, utilizing scene cuts and shifting viewpoints, but even the changes feel predictable. We’re told about unseen plans and mystery, but they don’t feelenticing. In fact, the intent and the execution clash on a fundamental level, splitting the narrative in twain: a layer of chalk-like description and a flowery gloss of allegory.
It’s disappointing, because the concept has a lot of potential. I truly enjoy the set of circumstances set up for the protagoni, but their development dessicates in their textual cradle. They’re left as nothing more but leather dolls puppeteered in the name of ephemeral meaning. Yet I feel nothing.

Ziggy: There are a disproportionate amount of reviews for this just hitting trending. A LOT of them have “review swap” on them so I’m assuming that’s playing a factor. But this story is not nearly as good as these reviews make it seem.
Before I get into the biggest problem, let’s focus on the feel of the story. In spite of the “litrpg” tag, it has the distinctive feel of xianxia. Which is a genre I tend to loathe. It has the typical phrases like, “boundless heavens!”, overly flowery and needlessly convoluted wording, concepts of Dharma/reincarnation, etc. So technically a litrpg, but reads like a xianxia fiction.
Now the big issue. The prose. It is just.. awful. The very first chapter, the prolgue? It is painful to try to read through. There are consistently 40 words used when 4 would do, in the most obtuse and clunky way possible. This gets a little better in later chapters, but the style of needlessly convoluted wording remains the same. I managed to power through a lot of chapters out of sheer stubbonness, but eventually I was groaning and skimming whole chapters. It’s intolerable. And if the characters go, “tch!” one more time, I’m going to scream. And they will, because they do it 5 times a chapter.
If you somehow enjoy the painful prologue? You might actually like this. But for everyone else? Hard pass.

Camille d’irithyl: After a prologue written in 6 dimensions, the story begins very slowly when the MC becomes aware of himself and his new condition. He has become a weak and pitiful creature (a caterpillar) and begins his adventure by eating all the leaves he can crawl to, trying to survive predators who like to feast on tender flesh like his.
The MC caterpillar, takes advantage of the system of an immortal (allowing him to change his carnal envelope), although the system is unusual, a bit messy, and sometimes looks like an avalanche of blue windows, if you like this kind of slow progression story in which the Grind holds an important place, sprinkled with slices of life of a humble creature, then you’ll be comfortable with it.
The narrative mixes a lot of inner dialogue and an MC who grinds his teeth at the philosophical messages that are very present, but that’s the price you pay for this type of narration.  Honestly, I preferred the human pov, but it’s a matter of personal taste.
I think the story would benefit from being shorter, containing fewer windows of status, and avoiding adding so many idioms inherited from oriental literature, which would make a story in which one is regularly confused clearer, and the reader’s experience more comfortable.
The Caterpillar MC’s way of thinking is quite regularly confused, as if he sometimes forgets his human memory, which sometimes makes the narrative confusing. The format that alternates between povs also requires the reader to memorize a lot of information, which makes the task of understanding the plot more complex, and quite difficult if your attention is easily overwhelmed by something else.  
Well, give it a try, and you’ll quickly know if it suits your personal tastes.

TheAbsoluteOne: At this point, the characters are not very clear yet. Grammar is totally fine, although I’d prefer it if some things were written in using an ‘easier to understand’ approach so that fast readers like me can understand and process the whole thing. Overall, the concept was great, the starting was amazing and the writing style is very exceptional. I am very much enjoying the ‘Ashram and Guruji’ side story that is going parallel with the main story. Although the story is new, changing the cover into a cooler one with epic images would be great. Usually, an eye-catching cover creates a better impression for the first look.  
Style:
The Writing Style is very exceptional. It felt like I’m reading a novel yet playing a fantasy rpg game at the same time. 
Story:
The story is great, deep, and dark, with a touch of profoundness! Especially the side story of the Ashram felt very epic to me as it slowly progressed.
Grammar:
Grammar is good. There aren’t any mistakes, or at least I can’t find any with my little knowledge. But sometimes it gets a bit hard to understand due to the heaviness and depth of the language. This was especially seen in the prologue. On the other hand, the chapters with the Ashram side story has a soothing language with an easy-to-understand grammatical structure. 
Character:
The Characterization of the Mc as a caterpillar was pretty deep. Although it was hard to understand cuz I have never read anything with a non-humanoid MC. In the end, the character of the MC was complex and deep, yet it had such a simplistic behavior at the same time. The other characters haven’t been that greatly established at the point till I read and I believe it is going to slowly develop in the later chapters.

veted: It’s not bad, ok. It’s just a sort of slice of life with a smattering of philosophy and religion, but no real plot and the barest of descriptions of anything. Things happen in a way that lean towards it being a real world, but it acts more like a video game. Why do insects take injurious fall damage? Why can a snail, despite being slow, bite and tackle? Why can a caterpiller furrow it’s brows, dilate its pupils and and have heart palpitations? Uh… they just can because that’s how the universe works.
It’s the sort of story where things happen, but the reader needs to fill in all the blanks, events, objects, places (and everything else, really) because nothing is described, and if it doesn’t really make sense? Eh, hand wave it away. It happens because the narrator said it did.
Author even created a character whose purpose is to beg for a review at the end of every chapter, too, which might explain why there are so many reviews gushing about the story. Begging seen here:
-X-
Within a desolate desert, inside a dilapidated shop, on a simple chair, a youth seemingly slept.
-X-
Like it?
Hate it?
Just review and let me know!
Go Review!
Now.
Cringed a little every time I saw it. Just… why? I suspect people might disagree with this assessment. They’d be wrong, but they are free to disagree. At least I’m not being mean about it, but you asked for it.

Sii: Another interesting monster take on litRPG/Isekai tropes. While I’m still early on in the story, I’m excited to see the development and learn about a world where Buddhism/Hinduism is the main religion and how that affects the System.
The first few chapters are confusing, chaotic, and downright hard to get through. But once you’re able to latch on to the right bits, it slowly makes more sense why the author chose to write them like that. It conveyed the confusion and the helplessness felt by the first main character. They are sentient but can barely do anything to keep themselves alive. At one point they bury themselves in their own shit just to stay alive. And its that kind of chaos that makes me rate the Story the highest out of my score. It is an extremely interesting take that focuses on stripping away what often accompanies System/Isekai stories, the power fantasy. There is no power here. One of the MC’s is literally a caterpillar that contains the sentience of a formerly powerful being. That being can’t even think properly because of the limited brainpower their current form has. It’s this expression of futility that really draws me to some of the deeper themes of this story. I’m basically rolling the character score and story score into one because they go hand in hand, we get to learn about the wider world and the philosophies that are important to the authors world while watching the development of both characters.
As for Style and Grammar, I’ll also be rolling them into one. I think this is where the story suffers the most. I thoroughly enjoy that the writing feels very detached, very ascetic. It feels like we’re reading an old religious text and I think that goes hand in hand with the themes and tones of the story. The execution is a bit lacking with some grammatical errors, clunky sentence structuring, and redundancy that will pull the reader out of full immersion while reading. But these are completely fixable things that come with constant craft improvement and getting objective eyes to assist with copy editing and overall editing.
In all, the story is very well handled, thematically and tonally. I enjoy it and will be back to read more down the line as I look forward to seeing what becomes of the MC’s.

Pauliuk: An amazing story about the progression of a being that doesn’t belong but struggles for survival for he not Mortal and only Mortals can grow in peace. This being is Immortal and Immortal grow through the odds that have been stack against them. A beautiful tale of metamorphosis both internal and external.
Style:
This is a third-person story of the primary MC, who is unnamed, and beings his life as a caterpillar, and a secondary MC, who is a boy trying to achieve a class for himself. The story alternates regularly between the two, with longer chapters being about the main MC and her/its life as an insect and shorter chapters being about the boy. Now, sometimes the story may come off as a bit wordy but that is because its intentional, its meant to stretch your brain and get you to think beyond your normal scope as the author is also leading you on your own journey of internal growth.
Grammar:
Because the grammar can get wordy, you either wind up with things that make no sense due to a typo. Or there is a lot of repetition that leads to some confusion as well.
Story:
As I stated, this is a story about self-discovery. A marvelous tale of a creature transforming into a greater version of itself. As of this review, the creature has morphed into a being capable of unlocking hidden potential that is strongly foreshadowed in the boy’s part of the story. The MC not only has to battle with other animals for its survival but also itself.
The boy’s story is very much one of mental self-discovery. As of now, it seems like the boy’s story helps the reader understand more about the world and the things the primary MC will be able to do. It serves as a good way to build upon the world without feeling forced. It is unknown how the two stories will link if they do.

Character:
The primary character is the nameless MC who is an insect. We learn about the former life of this being and how the her of its past will help shape its future. The reader gets to witness the cleverness and growing intelligence of this bug. Not only do we witness its body changing but also its ego, its sense of self. The next character is a bit duller, which is the boy. He has been sent to learn a hard to get class by his family. He struggles to earn this class as he is given knowledge about the world the is also convenient for the reader when comparing what the boy just learned to the life of the insect. There are other great characters as well, one that puzzled me and I hope to see more of is the Tier 4 teacher from the boy’s story. This character was introduced in a bonus chapter but his creepy atmosphere and how he lives are really bizarre even in this world.

BubblesWritesTrash: This is a story about a caterpillar and its perilous journey through the throes of reincarnation. I must say that the unique turn of this isekai-esque narrative makes it stand out from its other contenders in the genre, and I’ve greatly enjoyed the tiny (in size, not in importance) struggles of the little bug. I would, however, like to share my opinions on the core aspects of the story.
Style:
The style is the primary detractor on the story, because the originality of the concept is eclipsed by it. On the caterpillar’s side, the sentences are clearly shorter, more basic, rudimentary even, however this isn’t a constant. Its limited thinking and instinctual nature is poorly shown when near words that are nowhere near the common vocabulary. The narrator also doesn’t help, its inconstant level of implication in the events (marked by instances of subjectivism that transcend its objective omniscience showcased every now and then) serving to further drive a wedge between the portrayal and its intention. At the same time, the overusage of anadiploses have served to change the focus on concepts that aren’t particularly important to the story, wheras those who are more meaningful haven’t seen the same treatment. Commendable, however is the blatant difference between the narrative style of the caterpillar and that of the boys’ episodes. It is a hard technique to master, pluriperspectivism, and I do believe this author has shown great proficiency in this area.
Advice: Dial down the overtly scientific words in the description of the caterpillar and its bodily functions. The usage of cruder terms doesn’t count, nor does it serve any stylistic purpose when put next to words like ‘exuviate.’ Limit the ‘body language’ of the caterpillar, make its reaction feel baser and less intellectual. Avoid ‘showing’ by means of expressions like ‘heart beating faster.’ This way, I (and it’s just an opinion) belive that the involution and mental dissonance of a Mortal mind in an Immortal body would be better showcased. Lastly, limit the ‘fluff’ and the ‘filler’, at times it becomes unenjoyable.
Story: 
As far as originality goes, the story is a 10/10. The unique portrayal of the characters, the novelty of a plot where the character is as far away from a typical hero as one can be and the intense creativity of the situations, the ‘levelling’ and the string of events is commendable to heaven and beyond. An issue I have is with the odd reversal of pacing, namely the boys’ side being short, whilst the caterpillar is overtly detailed, but I cannot comment on artistic decisions, so I won’t factor them. Regardless, the progression is nearly flawless, and it shows the great level of thought and effort put into making this story as perfect as it can be. Some elements, however, require me to suspend a little too much disbelief, even though I assume this is an overtly fantastic world with laws that may supersede ours. 
Advice: I did get a certain ‘Pickle Rick’ vibe from many of the caterpillar’s endeavours, which don’t really fit with the grimdark tone of the narration. I suggest grounding the events into a much more feasible reality before the new reality can be better explained.
Grammar:
The grammar is again, nearly flawless, save for a couple mispellings (‘taught’ instead of ‘taut’ being quite a recurring one), however the biggest problem was with commas. At times their misuse caused sentences to take on a different meaning than that intended, and made for run-on phrases to appear even more run-on.
Advice: website should have enough for you to peruse at your leisure and learn about proper comma usage.
Character:
My first solid five. Awarded for an incredulous amount of effort put into developping an unique type of character, an enormous twist on the ‘Evolving Monster’ genre and a beautiful introspection on the mindset of both Mortals and Immortals. The beauty of the characters lies in their simplicity, as well as their symbolism, the protagonist and its secondary deuteragonists being mere elements that serve to impart a philosophy that is as unique as it is daunting to explore. A perfect harmony that lies in the portrayal of dissonance, bravo!
Therefore, I would like to wholeheartedly recommend this story as an opal, a gem renowned for its clouded, yet precious nature. A beautiful dive into a Hinduist/Buddhist reinterpretation of principles, this story provides for a great reading experience for the more or less scholarly of people.

[omitted other reviews due to length and enough content shown above]

Story Post Last Updated: December 8, 2020

2 thoughts on “[Story] A World of Monsters

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