[Story] Strangers From Another World

Title: Strangers From Another World
Author: Neverender
Genre(s): Fantasy
Tags:
Audience: PG
Main Lead: Male
Status: Ongoing
Number of Chapters: 24
Date of First Release: August 5, 2018
Date of Last Update: December , 2018
VB Assessment Score: TQ 2   PD 2   CF 2   ||   RL 2   CL 3  ||  Overall: 11
VB Reviewed? No
Number of Views: 139.2 K
Number of Reviews: 5
Synopsis:
That day, on New Years Eve, over half the children from all over the world, the youngest at the age of five and the oldest at the age of seventeen, vanished from this world due to mysterious circumstances.
Before they realized it, these children had found themselves scattered all over a parallel world of sword and magic. Not only that, each of them soon found themselves with strange and sometimes powerful abilities known as [Gifts] to aid them in this new world.
Confounded by the sudden appearance of these children from another world, the denizens of the new world called them the strangers from another world, or simply, “Strangers”.
How will the denizens of the new world deal with these powerful Strangers? Why was the children sent to this parallel world? What is the truth of this new world?
And so, the story begins.

Review(s)

Vgnette: It’s really a great experience reading this.
The story and the flow were amazing I’ve got nothing to complain there. World background was written as vividly as possible, no complaint from me here. You better make mistake now Author!
The characters, although only a handful was introduced I could see their personalities through their dialogues, and for that, a big plus from me, and as far as I’ve read I’ll assume the relationship between the MC and Gene were sort of like Mentor and Mentees, no big deal there too.
But, (AHA I’VE GOT YOU NOW!), nothing big only a misspelling one or two.
Would I recommend it? Heck yeah! With a little bit caution for people who like small bites. (4.8 it’s a bit long read xD)

Froschmo: Yoo, fro hereee!! This story is so interesting!! Crossing another world isnt unusual story, but this one was interesting enough to hook you up. Smooth narrative and great concept of magic. I really like the way this story twist around the plot. It make a nice surprise and make me curious for more. The world building here also great, it is clear enough that I picture the scene in my mind. Just you still have a lot of grammar mistake, especially the tenses. Past tenses and present tense are mixed everywhere, it isnt consistent. But overal it is good. Just, I have one question though. Who is the MC of this story? Please dont get offended, I am just confused about it between Alex and Gene. If it is Gene, then it is fine, you did a good job descripting him, but if it is Alex, he was too invisible in the vol 1. I know his character is shy and timid, he is seldom talking. But you should show the story from Alex’s view more instead. In the vol 1, all I see is Gene, while vol 2 the story started from alex again. So it isnt stable. Although I really like Alex’s character, but he is really invisible. If thats you want to show in the Vol 1, Alex’s invisibility, then the story should be show from Alex’s view in the shadow. Well, other than this, its all good. Please continue the hard work!

Scarlettbunny: I only read to the end of chapter 4, mainly because it’s not my cup of tea but from what I read so far….
Your grammar and spelling is fine, but you use the wrong words in your sentences. One chapter has the word “bear” unfortunately that is an animal and the way your sentence is written it should have been “bare” as in naked. There was also a lack of expressive words. Chapter 3 is a perfect example of it. Lady Oracle “she said grimly with gravity.” Then the gravity is gone. 😐😐😐 There are lot more expressive words you can insert. Easiest way is using a thesaurus pick a simple word and then see which one will make the flow sound better and picture easier.
Picturing your words was hard to do. You almost never explained what your characters look like and when you do it’s the bare minimum. There is also the over abundance of information from the beginning, everything is explained in the beginning there is no sense of mystery other then half the child populace disappearing.
The good stuff now….
The battle scenes are good, if you could expand them a bit more they would be freaking fantastic. As for the story it’s unique, you don’t just have one MC you have various that have each have their own stories. Eugene was at the beginning make you wonder when he got there and the parents know what is going on so did they travel and return? You have written quite a bit so I suggest to go back and review your past chapters. Honestly after 10,000 words you finally get the feel of how you want to write.

 
Story Post Last Updated: March 20, 2019

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s