[Story] Sorcha Knight in the City

Title: Sorcha Knight in the City
Author: Xephyre
Genre(s): Romance Fiction
Tags:
Audience: G
Main Lead: Female
Status: Ongoing
Number of Chapters: 51
Date of First Release: August 22, 2018
Date of Last Update: March 8, 2019
VB Assessment Score: TQ 2   PD 1   CF 1   ||   RL 1   CL 2   ||  Overall: 7
VB Reviewed? Yes
Number of Views: 236.9 K
Number of Reviews: 13
Synopsis:
Sorcha, a knight in her past life, reincarnated into a modern world. Being the daughter of soldiers, she wanted to follow her parent’s footsteps.
Follow her as she become a soldier who follows the knight’s code- protect the weak and defenseless, live by honour and for glory!
Will she also be able to reunite with the man she promised with marriage?

Review(s)

mavic36: A story of female lead transmigrated to modern world in which focus in military field. I found it interesting because the theme is what Im looking for. With caring father, yummy romance and funny friendship but I just want the action part to be explosive since our female lead has a military backgroud which I found it missing in this novel. Character design has its uniqueness but please have more interaction to our main characters romance.
And hoping more updates.

SnoozySloth: Everything about this story is 5/5 from strictly a judging perspective. Writing is good, updates are stable, there’s a story unfolding, characters are unique, and the world background is explained well. However, I just can’t seem to get into it. Granted, I’ve only read five chapters so far. I guess my problem with it is the lack of conflict to create some interest? The chapters are very short though, so perhaps that comes soon after chapter 5.
Final thoughts: I like White Queen Ascending much more =p

JA_Anton: This book effectively mixes young adult school life with the theme of reincarnation. Although the reincarnation theme has been done a couple of times, I believe this story has a charm of its own. The characters are likable, especially the main lead, Sorcha.
Regarding the world background, it is evident that the writer has taken time to conceptualize the world, and that’s really something. I also appreciate the pacing of the story. It’s not too fast like the others I’ve read here.
My only suggestion would be to look into the writing. There are some grammar errors that could be rechecked. Also, I think it would be better to stick to one or two POVS only. The POVS tend to shift within a chapter. That would be okay if this was a comics/graphic novel, but that’s not really a good thing when it’s just plain narrative. And as much as I appreciate the vivid descriptions, they can be a bit ‘telling’ than ‘showing’ at times. It’s always better to add action to a description rather than merely saying it like: My hair is like this…My eyes are…
Also, I think the world building will be more efficient if the author described the world as the characters experienced it rather than merely enumerating things the world has or hasn’t.
These are just my take though. Feel free to use or disregard my comments as you see fit.
Overall, I did enjoy the read. Just a little polishing and I think this will be a really promising novel.

Skully_: **Brutal Mode**
Originality – None. 0/5. Good work on the copy paste reincarnation story tropes. Oh you forgot that the MC’s name was Sorcha, she died, reborn and her new parents happened to name her Sorcha. The ODDS!?!
The neighbouring countries of Linbourne are Oakbourne, Silverbourne, and Vertbourne, and Linbourne. Linbourne not only neighbours itself all countries end with *bourne!
Story – 4/5 Despite having felt I have read this story before I actually enjoyed it. That is until every male, including ones in their twenties, were infatuated with her. And wondering why a four-year-old girl gave them a cold shoulder. ** I know who Marion is unless you have a twist planned. This could have waited until she was older. Marion and Ryan could have found her intelligent and cute.
Characters – 3/5 The MC has a kick ass personality. Everyone else is a cliche. With the exception of Edmund. Most of the kids and adults speak with the Authors voice. Except for Edmund, he is special. Edmund should become the new main sidekick. Go, Edmund. Poor little shy bastard with no redeeming qualities except he loves MC.
Flow – 5/5 The flow is excellent. Nothing to troll here. Move along troll, move along. I found it easy to read. But you need to stop apologising for long chapters. You are the storyteller. It is what it is. The story comes first. Fuck the reader. If the story demands a 10k chapter. Then they can suck a cold one. Give them a 10k chapter. Give them cliffhangers too. Take no prisoners.
.
.
Nice Suggestions: I enjoyed reading the story. I would suggest a few things to improve, but above all keep writing.
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1) describe what it looks like. The classroom, the home, the cafe. Wherever the characters are spending time. Take time to describe it once so the reader can picture it in their mind.
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2) Give the characters a distinct voice. You are halfway there, keep going.
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3) describe the character’s appearance once. Have Luke think about Sorcha. Or what Rica sees when looking at Ryan. or just describe them. Give them a quirk or difference.
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4) dont make it too easy for the MC. Good things come to those who wait. Not every man adores her. Some might just want to be friends. Some might take a long time. Some might give her pushback initially and her strong will then forces her way through.
Story Post Last Updated: March 18, 2019

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