Webnovel Story. Genre(s): Romance Fiction — # of Chapters: 54 — TQ 2 PD 2 CF 2 || RL 2 CL 3 — Overall: 11
Important Note: There is a big difference between a webnovel–a story of the internet and mobile world–and a published book. Besides straightforward editing, published stories are constantly polished to be more engaging, meaningful, and clear. So a successful webnovel doesn’t equate to the same caliber of a published novel. This is due in part to an online writer typically being a one man/woman show. Thus, reviews will be given as if regarding whether this could be a published print or e-book.
All 54 chapters were covered in this review.
Overall, it’s good. There’re some typos that can easily fixed with proofreading. One awkward phrasing, “get the crème de la crème of him,” I’m assuming this means “get the best of him,” if so, “crème de la crème” isn’t the right phrasing to replace “best.” The former is a noun trying to replace an adjective, so this would be incorrect. “Crème de la crème” is more literally, the best person or thing, so using it in this context would awkwardly mean, “get the best of the best of him,” which has a different meaning. Also, this different use of language doesn’t fit in with the rest of how the story is mainly written.
Introductions are short but satisfactory as long as more of their personality shines through later events.
Realistically, it seems off that she’s so preoccupied with the new neighbor to even dream of said person as a puppy. What is realistic is that even after Alex saw Zunnie several times, he didn’t go crazy love at first sight must chase down this woman.
Alex has a bit more personality, and his character is slightly more realistic than Zunnie, at least. The choice of Little Thing seems somewhat derogatory as I doubt women would want to be called that by their lover.
The other characters follow the typical tropes of playboy, jealous girl or rival, kind family member, friend, etc.
The beginning is rather slow, but there’s ample description to give a sense of settings and their importance. After that, the couple’s relationship moves at a good pace in comparison with other romances that are too quick.
Most of the story is through Alex’s POV. This might be one of the reasons why his character is more fleshed out and distinctive than any of the other characters. In terms of storytelling, it would be better to focus on just his POV and merge the events which get repeated into one fluid storyline. Other POV’s don’t add much to the plot or give much insight the characters that couldn’t be revealed through a third person limited to Alex.
The initial slow buildup of their relationship is very good. It’s more realistic this way and stands out from other romance stories. It also creates more suspense for the reader instead of some simple one night stand or love at first sight pursuit. Alex’s marriage declaration in contrast seems to be too sudden after the slow-budding romance. Zunnie is a rather weak character in terms of her distinctiveness. She’s literally the doppelganger of any bland romance female lead. If she could reflect a little more of Alex’s inner thoughts and range of feelings, it would greatly improve her character and match up with Alex. The same holds true for rivals.
The writing style isn’t too fancy, but it has enough description to warrant a good degree of immersion. The settings could be described a little more in-depth, but it isn’t too necessary as long as the characters are a little more in-depth instead. At this stage, the main focus is simply refining and expanding your use of language and the characters’ personalities.